The News

Our hearts and prayers go out to all those families and children effected by the school shooting in Nevada, including the family of the shooter.  Normally I try to avoid discussing events in the news, but with all the school shootings that have been in the news, I am going to share a few thoughts I've had for a while.  I've noticed that while reading about these horrible events that most of the discussion revolves around gun control.  I get that that is a hot issue right now, but personally I feel that it is more of a band aid to these types of situations.  Let's face it, if the will is strong enough, a way will be found.  But what very few seem to be talking about is why these kids are so desensitized that they think this is ok.  (I am not saying that this is the case in the Nevada shooting, but in many of them it appears to be a large factor)  We live in a violent society.  The media, entertainment, music lyrics, even the news if you really think about it all contain violence.  And then there is the issue of the age that children are exposed to violence.  I have had 5 year olds come up to me and tell me that they watch R rated movies or tv shows that I wouldn't even consider watching because they are filled with violence.  And they tell me this like its the norm.  Honestly it breaks my heart. 
We made a decision before our first child was born, not that she would never be exposed to violence (that would be impossible), but that she would not be exposed it until we felt that she was old enough to handle it.  And that is something I want to clarify right now - I don't mean allowing a 5 year old to watch an R rated movie.  Determining once she is at the recommended age if it is something we are really ok with her watching.  Just because it is rated pg-13 does not mean that every 13 year old is mature enough to watch, understand, and process what they are seeing.  It is definitely not an easy decision and it involves a lot of sacrifice as an adult.  And it is not a decision that many understand either.  I can remember being at a friends house when Princess was about 3 months old.  They had a daughter about a month younger.  I asked the Colonel to turn Princess around because they were watching something that was at least pg-13 and the scenes were not something that she needed to see.  He hadn't been paying attention and once he realized he immediately turned her around.  But we got "Why does it matter, she won't remember it anyway."  From our friends.  It was not about whether or not she would remember it.  It was about getting us in the practice of taking responsibility for what our children are exposed to and also about allowing her to have as much of her childhood as possible.
Honestly we don't even watch the news around the kids, because of the amount of violence that is shown on there.  I read it in the paper or online.  I try to pay attention to the lyrics of the music my kids listen to.  We don't listen to all kid's music, but I will switch radio stations if there is something that is not kid friendly on. 
Like I said it's not easy.  We don't always like having to wait until they go to bed to watch a show that is for adult audiences or to play that m-rated video game.  Watching the same episode of Barney 100 times can get very very annoying.  But is it worth it?  Absolutely.  My kids get to be kids.  The shows they watch are teaching them values and focusing on kid oriented things.  I know what my kids are watching (which someday will not be as easy as it is right now, I know).  They will not live life thinking that it's ok to handle everything through violence.  They will be adults soon enough.  Once their childhood is gone its gone.  Why would I want to shorten it?  I cannot control society and the violence that is deemed ok there, but I can control what is in my home.  And honestly, if enough parents stood up and said "We don't want this in our homes."  then maybe, just maybe society would start to change.